American Idol: We Could Have Done Without the Bee Gees

The Beat's editorial board takes its critiques seriously. Before putting fingertips to keyboard each Tuesday, we watch "American Idol" twice. Once when it airs, a second time on Tivo. People's futures are at stake, public opinion can be swayed with one ignorant word choice. We have to be sure about what we write.

This week, we watched Disco Week the first time around with the same fear of ongoing torture George Clooney's character in "Syriana" held during the interrogation scene that cost him an appendage. When it was done, we knew we couldn't again put ourselves through listening to LaKisha Jones caterwauling "Staying Alive" without wishing for death. At least, we couldn't do it in the same state of mind. So we found our handy-dandy baggy of little helpers for situations like these and chased them down with triple shots of tequila. The apothecary's goods worked quick, we hit play on the Tivo box.

That's when Disco Night got groovy.

As Blake Lewis hopscotched around to "You Should Be Dancing" we started thinking, Oh, man, that dude can really get down. And when he laid on his requisite beat-box, we deduced, Oh, man, that dude is so freaking talented. The first time around, we thought Lewis was so bad it was like watching C. Thomas Howell in "Soul Man". But just a bit of mind-altering is all it took for us to realize that Lewis can pull off wearing an argyle sweater and not look like a Poindexter.

The second time for LaKisha was way better, too. We got what she was doing with her off-pitch delivery and hoarse voice. That lady's making these songs her own, is what we decided.

Melinda Doolittle's performance, oddly, left the same impression on us. She still seemed to be saying, What the hell do y'all got us singing the freaking Bee Gees for?

By the time Jordin Sparks came around a second time, we were passed out. But she's 17 - have you heard?

Sparks has the best chance of winning the show's sixth season, according to bettors, who have bet her American Idol odds down to 1/1. Doolittle is the second choice at 6/5 while Lewis is at 7/2 and Jones is the 14/1 long shot in the Bodog Sportsbook.

On Wednesday, one of the four remaining contestants will be eliminated. Next week, let's hope "American Idol" returns to its senses.

PHOTO: Depending on how sober you were, Blake Lewis either kicked it or bagged it on Disco Night of American Idol. (Photo courtesy of AmericanIdol.com)