Dane Cook Doesn't Like His Movie Poster

Dane Cook is pulling a Katherine Heigl. (Lionsgate Image)"]

We at Bodog Beat see what Dane Cook is talking about in his meandering and at times, narcissistic complaints he posted on his blog. Just like when Nurse Betty was wrongly marketed as a cute, romantic comedy, resulting in audiences full of middle-aged moms fleeing the theater during the opening scalping scene – we are in agreement with Cook that the marketing of a movie determines what sort of audience will turn up.

Still, it's hard not to see Cook as nothing short of a whiny bitch who, after appearing in train wrecks like this - should be grateful he's in anything at all. In the following rant slash attempt at comedy, Cook counts the ways he hates the poster for his latest movie, My Best Friend's Girl. If you find you're not slapping your knee at his hilarity, it's not you, it's him. In April, Cook was named "Unfunniest Comic" by Boston radio station WBCN.

Here are some of the highlights: "My character is sporting a very high collar I mean damn they should be snow capped at that altitude. It's going for the vampire lurking in the castle basement vibe. An Olympic pole vaulter would have a tough go clearing that collar. I'm also able to turn my head comfortably 180 degrees, because I was raised in an abandoned barn by a family of owls." And "My character apparently has fallen in love with a strand of Kate Hudsons hair. Kate's mannequin is desperately in love with the inside of my right ear while Jason is half stunned, half corsage."

He'll be here all night, folks. Try the veal.