On Celebrity Apprentice, Trump Shouts It Out Loud and Gene Simmons Fails to Get It

God of Thunder? Ha, try God of Blunder, Gene. (Courtesy of NBC.com)

(Play a game: Spot all the KISS song references in the following.)

Maybe Gene Simmons wanted to be a hard luck woman. Given the chance to join the Empresario team on Celebrity Apprentice for one reality-TV challenge, Simmons opted to rise to it, accepting Donald Trump’s offer. Upon entering the ladies room, however, it soon became apparent that the self-proclaimed King of All Women and the most arrogant buffoon ever to find fame had nowhere to run.

Simmons’ trial by fire ended with his ouster from the hit NBC show. He started out by going a little Caesar on the women, declaring himself a benevolent dictator. He then shrugged off meeting with Kodak executives, who had charged both the men’s and women’s celebrity teams with creating an advertising campaign for their new ink product.

Instead, Simmons sent chatty Nelly Galan and puck bunny Carol Alt. They came back with instructions that the Animal said were meaningless. He bored ahead with his plan. Anyway you slice it, in the end Simmons was a disaster.

The men’s team, Hydra, suffered a true disaster of their own when Stephen Baldwin fell off a table and spilled coffee on the laptop that held all their creative designs. They tried everything short of licking it up before going to a Plan B, which was basically Kinko’s at midnight.

With some fast talk and b.s., Hydra ended up wowing Kodak more than Simmons and the ladies. Simmons made his situation worse when he pissed off Trump by not nominating Galan (despite being given plenty of hints) for the chopping block. Trump said he had no choice but to pour a little cold gin on the guitar hero.

The show also featured a funny cameo from Alec Baldwin, who ribbed his brother, and stock guru Jim Cramer, who was much more calm than he is on his “Mad Money” CNBC program.

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