Paris Hilton Drops the Dumb

In Earth-shattering news, Paris Hilton is no longer dumb. (AP Images)

Paris Hilton made a collect call to Barbara Walters over the weekend, as a part of her cashing-in-on-prison-deal.

“I was not eating or sleeping. I was severely depressed and felt as if I was in a cage,” the 26-year-old said. “It was a horrible experience.”

When Walters asked how she is now, Hilton replied: “I used to act dumb. That act is no longer cute. Now, I would like to make a difference. God has given me this new chance.”

Paris has changed her tune after being hauled off to jail for a second time, kicking and screaming. The heiress and her peeps are working overtime to clean up her spoiled, airhead image, releasing thoughtful, articulate statements supposedly contrived by Paris, who's famous for answering most questions with the phrase, "That's hot."

"I must also say that I was shocked to see all of the attention devoted to the amount of time I would spend in jail for what I had done by the media, public and city officials,” Paris said in a statement.

“I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things like the men and women serving our country in Iraq and other places around the world,” she added.

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