Sopranos Cut To Black

Thanks for the memories: James Gandolfini cut to black Sunday night as The Sopranos ended a solid seven-season run. (AP Images)

In the end, the whole thing was about onion rings and power ballads.

The culmination of the seven finest seasons in Home Box Office history failed to produce a bang, or even a whimper. All viewers were left with were the dulcet tones of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" (debuted on their 1981 album Escape) and deep-fried hoops of allium cepa.

Say what?

Yes, this is all how it ended for The Sopranos. As Tony, Carmela, AJ and Meadow gathered for a family meal, viewers across North America waited in anticipation for a hailstorm of bullets, car bombings, curbstomps or any other explosive ending that would neatly wrap up all the loose ends creator David Chase left dangling since the show's inception in 1999.

What we got was nothing. Dinner went according to plan. They ate onion rings and listened to 80's music on the jukebox.

Then it cut to black.

This is not to say that the last episode was devoid of any intriguing moments. After Tony arranged a sitdown with some of Phil Leotardo's cronies to put a temporary restraint on the whacking spree between New York and New Jersey, both bosses appeared safe. Phil then made the unfortunate decision to fuel up at a Long Island Raceway gas station and was killed in spectacular fashion by Walden Belifiore (who, we learn, was named after Bobby Darin, born Walden Robert Cassotto). The subsequent "I shoulda put the car in park, now they're picking my teeth out of the tires" scene was a friendly reminder that - if ever in the midst of a heated mob war - bosses should always use full-serve.

Other great moments included:

• AJ blowing up his own car, ditching plans to join the army and opting to become a production assistant while adding another astonishingly hot notch in his belt of female conquests.
• Tony's (presumably) final sit-down with Uncle Junior, a poignant scene where Tony realizes how far afield Corrado has gone.
• Paulie goes out the same way he was introduced: catching some rays outside of Satriale's. But after telling Tony he once saw the Virgin Mary at the Bing one night, Paulie officially confirmed he's nuttier than squirrel shit.
• Meadow trying to park her Lexus - arguably the most intense parallel-parking scene in television history.

There has been a lot of speculation as to what the final scene "meant" - the best theory is that it represents the failure of Tony's never-ending quest to find happiness. He felt exactly what every viewer at home felt in those final antagonizing moments - anxiety, paranoia - and will forever continue to exist in an unresolved state of tension. And in that light, it was the perfect ending.

Tony Soprano will keep going; we just don't get to see him anymore.